Who are James & Stacy McDonald?

A collection of their writings & sayings

Parenting & Advice for Daughters

On Calling Daughters Virgins:

“In our modern culture, girls tend to be referred to in a variety of ways. Someone may occasionally ask, ‘How many daughters do you have?’ but you will never hear anyone ask, ‘how many virgins do you have?’ or ‘how many maidens are in your family?’ Is it that our contemporary dictionaries don’t have room for these outdated terms or is it that our culture embraces gender neutrality and spurns titles that signify innocence or purity?”

-Stacy McDonald

On “Worldly” Young Ladies vs. “Christian Maidens”:

“…Because most young ladies of the world are not consistently preparing for their future roles as wives and mothers (maybe they are chasing selfish ambitions or pursuing careers) the Christian maiden at home has a particularly unique opportunity to communicate Christ by her purity, loveliness, and willingness to serve.”

-Stacy McDonald

On Judging Random Strangers:

“…Although the young lady was wearing a very long skirt, it was also very tight (her back side was distinctly outlined), and the exaggerated swing of her hips spoke even louder than what she was wearing…

“…Her demeanor and carriage did not reflect Christ… it distinctly invited, ‘Look at my tail feathers…’ It may not be what was on her mind, but it was what she was communicating to others, and I am certain that men walking behind her heard that message loud and clear.”

-Stacy McDonald

On Stay-At-Home-Daughters:

“There are no positive examples of daughters leaving the protective oversight of their fathers (Genesis 34, Numbers 30:3-5). We believe it is a biblical model for a daughter to remain under the protection of her father until she is married. This way, his responsibility to protect and guide his daughter into marriage can be properly carried out. In Matthew Henry’s commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:38, he teaches the following on a man giving his virgin daughter in marriage: Children should be at the disposal of their parents, and not dispose of themselves in marriage. Yet, parents should consult their children’s inclinations, both to marriage in general and to the person in particular, and not reckon they have uncontrollable power to do with them, and dictate to them, as they please. It is our duty not only to consider what is lawful, but in many cases, at least, what is fit to be done, before we do it.

– James McDonald

On Virginity as a Personality:

Note: “Modern Mandy” is a ficticious character Stacy invented to represent “today’s average young woman”.

“Prove to the world that virginity is more than saving one single biological act for marriage: it’s a way of thinking, a way of living, a general state of being. Instead of dressing like a dime-store floozy and singing about feeling like a virgin, you can show Modern Mandy the beauty and joy of actually being one—physically as well as spiritually.

-Stacy McDonald

Screenshot from the 2008 Vision Forum Catalog

On Modesty Checks:

“Have you ever thought about what you look like from behind—how tight or how sheer your clothing is?… Ask [your mother] if she thinks you swing your hips or swagger….

“When you walk up a flight of stairs, what do men behind you see?….

“Is your clothing modest to the people who are sitting behind you in church? Ask your mother or a wise female friend to stand behind you while you bend to pick up a book. Now do the same with them standing in front of you. What did she see? What would your father think?…

“Raise your hands high above your head. Does your tummy show?…

“How low is your neckline? Look in the mirror while holding onto your knees. Do you see cleavage? If so, everyone else does too! If you are fuller in the chest area, you may need to be more careful of certain fabrics. Sweaters, knits, and the newer ‘stretchy’ fabrics tend to cling and accentuate the bust line….

“Do you see what could be described as the ‘attire of a harlot’ in the styles offered by most department stores today?…

“Men tend to sin by lusting after women, while women tend to sin by lusting to be lusted after. Lust is the very opposite of love because it takes instead of gives….

“If a maiden knowingly exposes private parts of her body or wears clothing that may incite lust in a young man, then she is acting selfishly.”

-Stacy McDonald

On Modesty:

“Read Romans 14:13-21. If a maiden dresses immodestly, how could it harm a young man? How could it hurt his future or current wife? Would her carelessness show a loving attitude towards her neighbor?”

-Stacy McDonald

On Obeying & Submitting:

“Discuss with your mother how your present obedience to your father will directly relate to your submission to your husband later. Mother, talk about the difficulties many women have in submitting to their husbands.”

-Stacy McDonald

On Reading Romance Novels:

Note: Sarah & her mother are fictional characters. These quotes are preceded by a story of Sarah being forbidden from reading a Christian romance novel.

“Sarah’s mother went on, ‘As you know, we are planning for you to marry within a protected courtship setting. Part of our responsibility to God and to you is to guard your purity and insure [sic] that you are faithful to your future husband even now. Did you know that the choices you make now will affect your marriage to your husband later?

“’No, Ma’am,’ Sarah whispered. She had never considered that her future husband might not want her reading romantic stories!

“’Just as physical purity is important, being faithful to your future husband also means remaining true to him emotionally—even before you are married. Emotional purity involves saving your romantic feelings for your husband. You will be able to offer him your whole heart on your wedding day—not just the bits and pieces that are left.’”

-Stacy McDonald

On Preparing Daughters for Life:

As we consider the future of our daughters, shouldn’t we look to the Word of God to see if there is a basic course laid out for them? While I do believe there is a place for higher education in the preparation of our daughters, our focus should be to encourage them to see the eternal value in embracing their unique role as wife, mother, and keeper at home—the normative role for women, found in Scripture.

-James McDonald

On Criticism of Father-Daughter Teachings:

…innocent gatherings such as father-daughter teas are lampooned.  Daughters who symbolically give their father’s their hearts to guard until marriage are ridiculed (though I find it odd that ‘Promise Rings’ are ok). Oh, and the fathers are castigated. We live in a sad day when a father and daughter cannot share paternal love—for even some who claim Christ roll their eyes.

-James McDonald

Marriage & Gender Roles

On Abusive Marriages:

“While affirming male authority as outline in the Scriptures, I am not discounting the genuine cases of despotism. Some men have abused their power and neglected to lead and protect their families. Some husbands and fathers are lazy, selfish tyrants. These men have not lived with their wives in an understanding or loving way, and, by their abuse* and neglect, they have harmed their own families and help to debilitate society. Their prayers have undoubtedly been hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

“But regardless of whether or not men obey God by faithfully leading and loving their wives, as women, we are still required to obey God by faithfully and respectfully following our own husbands. Our responsibilities to the Lord aren’t contingent upon the obedience of anyone else. We are to submit to our husbands ‘as unto the Lord’ (Ephesians 5:22).

“Even when husbands fall short, God can use the faithfulness of godly, submissive wives as a catalyst for change. Peter says it can be done without a wordby our chaste and reverent behavior (1 Peter 3:1-2)….

“Whatever trial we are experiencing, we can be sure that God is at work in us. We must not reject the trial or irritation, because it is God’s will for us at this point in our lives. When we recognize it as being from His hand (for our good and His glory), we can accept even our trials as precious gifts—wonderful opportunities to testify of His goodness.”

*There is an endnote cited here. The endnote, on page 205, reads as follows: “It is important to note that a woman with an unrepentant, physically abusive husband should go to her elders for counsel, and in some cases to the civil authorities. A man abusing his family must be held to account by the authorities in his own life.”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Pages 129, 130)


Screenshot from the 2008 Vision Forum Catalog

On Womanhood vs. “Personhood”:

“Feminism, blatantly secular or whitewashed, demands that we turn a cold shoulder to the beauty and grace of God-ordained womanhood and instead embrace the hollow barrenness of ‘personhood.’”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Page 126)

On A Woman’s Duties:

“The text of Scripture is straightforward and unequivocal: a woman’s duties are to be home-centered, and if we spurn this directive we cause God’s word to be blasphemed (Titus 2:5) and risk bringing reproach upon the body of Christ (1 Timothy 5:14).”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Page 33,34)

On Unconditional Submission:

“Regardless of whether or not our husbands obey the Word, our responsibilities don’t change; we are required to obey God by sumitting to our own husbands….

“…[My friend] knew that she had the responsibility to obey God even when her husband chose to disobey. She was ‘laying down her life’ in love and obedience to God.”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Page 14,15)

On Exceptions to Submission:

“But what should we say of the husband who is not under church authority; who perhaps refuses to attend a faithful church; who has isolated his family and set himself up as lone prophet, priest, and king for the family? What should a wife do in such a case? I believe a Christian wife must follow the Lord. If a husband keeps his family from assembling together for an extended time, and shows no sign of committing to a church, a wife may prayerfully and respectfully appeal to her husband, letting him know that she must find a doctrinally sound church where she and their children can be accountable—and protected (Hebrews 13:17). She may also explain to him that by keeping her from the accountability of a church body, he is asking her to sin (Hebrews 10:25); and she must obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29).”

-James McDonald

On Dealing with Overwhelm:

“Many times we bring frustration on ourselves in the form of too many projects, plans, and misplaced priorities. Remember that God has given you your husband to lead and protect you. Go to him and seek his counsel. Most times he will be able to see things more objectively than you. Perhaps he can help you work out a doable schedule without all the emotions, false guilt, or hormone fluctuations that may cloud the decision-making process of a tired mom. Remember that God works through our submission for our good as well as for the good of our husbands. Don’t decide before asking him that ‘he won’t have the answer.’ Trust that God will work through him.”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Page 60)

On Modesty:

“Men are attracted to the female form. If we’re showing ours off, purposely or not, we’re not being modest! Shorts show off legs. Plain and simple. Tight or low blouses show off other things. Pants can also show off the crotch area and the bottom. (I don’t know how to say that more politely!)”

-Stacy McDonald

On Gender Roles:

“In case you haven’t noticed, God made men and women drastically different! It’s a shameful crime when society succeeds in convincing little girls they should be tough, ambitious and masculine and little boys that they should be soft, effeminate and pretty. It starts out with a few ‘innocent’ twists of God’s design for men and women. Then this same evil deception and perversion leads to those fools who are under the delusion that they are ‘women trapped in men’s bodies’ and ‘men trapped in women’s bodies.’”

-Stacy McDonald

Counseling & Mental Health

On Reconciling with Abusers:

“Some false teachers even encourage those who claim abuse to view their alleged abuser as some sort of sub-human who is basically beyond the reach of the Gospel. They won’t say this directly, but the message is the same: ‘Abusers’ can’t repent. And, if they try, they’re lying.

“We need to learn to recognize this as an additional form of real abuse, and work to also protect the victims of this more subtle type of tyranny. It’s very important that, in our effort to help those in one type of situation, we don’t empower a different type of real abuser. We also need to be very careful not to place man’s philosophies above the Word of God, which is exactly what happens with some ‘abuse experts.’ This is why the intervention of wise and discerning church elders is crucial.

“Repentance and restoration should be the goal. If true repentance never happens, then that is a different story. But, counselors or pastors who treat alleged or repentant abusers as if they are hopeless, perpetual liars, beyond the reach of the Gospel, are teaching a false doctrine and are dangerous to families.”

-Stacy McDonald

On Feeling “Desperate”:

“If you’re feeling overwhelmed and desperate, you won’t find the answer in yet another self-help book or in a temporal bottle of pills.”

-Stacy McDonald
“Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” (Page xxiii)

On Depression:

“The world wants to find some other way to avoid the bad feelings that are the logical result of a sinful life. They want to claim that there is another door through which they can find joy and peace—one that doesn’t involve that pesky little annoyance of confessing, repenting, and humbling oneself before a holy God (John 10:1-2, Proverbs 14:12). It is so much easier to believe that our depression is the fault of someone else. ‘I’m a victim!’ is the cry of the people. All the while, the true cause of our misery is our own rebellion against God (Proverbs 28:13).

-Stacy McDonald

Where Are They Now?

Beyond Vision Forum

Screenshot of Stacy’s website advertising her latest book

On What Her New Book Claims to Accomplish:

Truth Drops utilizes Scriptural affirmations, prayer, and olfactory stimulation exercises to establish new neuropathways and actively retrain the brain. Maximize the power of the limbic system by using aromatherapy to ease past hurts and automatically direct the mind to the truth of God’s Word.


On Stacy’s Qualifications:

Stacy took what she was learning about neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change) and combined it with her knowledge and years of experience with essential oils and Scripture.

– Stacy McDonald

Screenshot of an exerpt from “Truth Drops”, which appears to prescribe the use of the same oils Stacy sells through multi-level-marketing


Note: James & Stacy seem to have distanced themselves somewhat from their former teachings. (See quotes below.) Most of their former blogs & websites have been taken down or scrubbed clean, and their online presence now appears to be focused on selling essential oils through a multi-level-marketing company. If either of them have issued an apology or retraction of their former teachings I am currently unaware of it.

On the Damage Caused:

“…we read and listened to a motley collection of authors and pastors who taught about how Christian families should live: Mary Pride, Doug and Nancy Wilson, Mark Driscoll, Doug Phillips, Kevin Swanson, RC Sproul Jr, and others.

(One day, I may share more on why and how some of these teachings were so damaging to me and others, but for now, that’s not my focus.)”

– Stacy McDonald

On Her Own Former Writings:

Later, I created a blog, and wrote two books where I shared what I believed about marriage, obedience, motherhood, our roles as Christian women and, most importantly, how to keep our children (especially our daughters) safe from all the sin and evil in the world.

“Soon after, we started a home church and my husband started pastoring. But that’s another story.

“Though, over twenty years have gone by since that time, I would still agree with plenty of what I wrote back then. It’s not like it was all wrong! But I also see now that so much of what I believed and taught was influenced by and laced with fear and hints of my own hidden trauma, which is why I was sucked in by so many manipulative leaders. I sometimes wonder how many of my readers were abused, and perhaps resonated with my writings because of it. The thought is sobering.

– Stacy McDonald

On Pastors Handling Therapy:

“And if you’re a pastor or ministry leader, stop trying to handle these situations yourself without any specialized qualifications or training. Become trauma-informed. Find trustworthy therapists in your area where you can refer people in need.

Otherwise we’ll have a church filled with the blind leading the blind, and propagating the very dangers we’re trying to avoid.
– Stacy McDonald

Screenshot from Facebook

Skip to content